The Top 10 Signs Your Social Media “Expert” Isn’t

  1. They refer you to their profile on Friendster.  Where it lists as qualifications:  “Twitter is hot.  I’m a twerp.  Coincidence?  I think not.”
  2. Their Twitter profile:  Following 12,782, Followers 6, Tweets 2
  3. Their Facebook vanity profile:  http://www.facebook.com/HowDoYouUseThisAnyhow?
  4. “LinkedIn is, like, for people with jobs.”
  5. They’re under 26.  (Revenge for http://www.valleyprblog.com/social-media/a-rant-why-older-generations-shouldnt-blog/)
  6. They’re over 50.  (Other than me, of course.)
  7. Their resume’ includes any of these campaigns.  Worse, their resume’ includes all of these campaigns:  http://blog.thoughtpick.com/2009/06/10-social-media-campaigns-that-failed-avoid-their-mistakes.html
  8. They utter the phrase “but you have to be a part of the conversation” as the answer to every question.   In fact, be wary if they use that as the answer to any question.
  9. “Metrics, shmetrics.  We don’t need no stinking measurement.”
  10. They’re unfamiliar with YouTube but they’ve Dugg YouPorn.  Multiple times.  Per hour.
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